l-pee.

well the time is finally here.  i have to go back to work.  after 18 weeks off i'm heading back to the big B tomorrow.  and i definately h ave some mixed feelings about it.  i can't even think about missing time with penelope.  it's amazing how much i love her after such a short period of time.  and she is getting more and more interactive and amazing every time.  she loves to just lean against your knees and talk to you.  just smiles and grunts and coos and seems to truly believe she is having a conversation with you.  going to be hard to leave that.  and especially miss her fun morning times.  like with most babies, mornings are her best.  she's alert and happy and the most smiley that she'll be all day.  it's soo strange to think of not spending most of the day with her.  you go from having her actually physically being a part of you for nine months, then spending almost every second together - awake and sleeping - for 2 1/2 months after that.  and then all the sudden - you have to go cold turkey and drop her off at a sitter adn join the real world again.  time to leave the mommy/baby bubble that i've been in.  i have to say that this is the hardest part about pregnancy and having a baby.  sooo much harder than actaully being pregnant, bed rest, delivery or even those first few sleepless weeks.  i wish i could start at day one again.  and be just holding her for the first itme - cuz then i've have 2 more months!  okay - enough about how sad i'm going to be to leave her - i know this is good and we both really really need it. i need adult coversation again, i need to put on real clothes again and maybe even do my hair and put on makeup!  i know it's time - i really do and i'm sure in a couple weeks i'll be feeling good about all this.  we did do a baby-sitter trial run this week and she did great.  slept a lot, was only a little fussy, ate well and seemed fine when i picked her up.  tomorrow she goes for real and then next week will be a full week of the sitter.  it's just so crazy!  all the little kids at daycare (and all my friends kids) can't seem to say her name and it's soo adorable.  they call her l-pee.  basically just the last syllable of her name :0  so adorable.  i like it.  l-pee (actually let's make it just l-p) :)  she has a new nickname.  okay - enough blogging.  i'm going to cuddle with my baby.